Yankinmu na
arewa ko kuma ace yankin hausa/Fulani ya kasance inda yafi koina mutuwar aure.
A cikin al’ummar hausa/Fulani zakaga aure bashida martaba da kima sosai a idon
wasu sabida yanda suke yanda sukaga dama dashi a duk lokacin dasuke so. Munsamu
kanmu a wani lokaci da akanyi aure auren yamutu a cikin wata 3, Maza basu dauki
saki wani babban abu ba sukanyi shi akan dalilin da bai kai ya kawo ba.
Wanan
matsala takasance ta dami al’ummar mu. Saki abu ne wanda yake halal a musulunci
amma dukda halarcinsa yakasance abu wanda Allah da Manzonsa basa sonshi. Illar saki
yawuce kawai rabuwar ma’auratan, yana naso ne har izuwa dangi da sauran
yan’uwan su.
Wanan
matsala yawancinta ba a ciki gida ake samunta ba, ana samota ne tin daga waje
kafin ayi aure. Sannan kuma akwai abubuwa dasuke kashe aure kuma wanda sai
bayan anyi aure ake haduwa dasu.
Bari muyi
bayanin kadan daga cikin matsaloli dasuke kashe aure a al’ummar hausa/Fulani
1. Karya
Abu na farko dayake fara kawo matsala a acikin aure shine karya, zaka iya
ganin Kaman cewa wanan ai bawani babban abu bane amma tabbas karya dazaka yita
yiwa yarinya a waje kafin aure bayan tashigo taga labarin yasha bam-bam yanada
matukar tasiri wajen Haifa muku matsala a cikin aure. Samari idan zasuje hira
ko zance zai tabbatar ya fita fes-fes, zai tabbatar yatafi da kudi dayawa wanda
zai bata alhali karfinsa bai kai yabada wanan kudi ba, watakila zai aro mota
yatafi mata dashi.
Yanzu misali ace ma’aikaci ne mutum yanada albashin dubu hamsin (50) amma
zai iya daukan dubu ashirin yabawa budurwa, sannan zai aro mota yaje wajenta,
bata taba neman wani abu a wajensa tarasa ba duk tsadarsa. Sai azo ayi aure
taga motar nan ba tasa bace kudinda yake bata yanzu bazai iya bata ba sabida
yanada iyali yanzu, idan tanemi wani abu mai tsada ko kuid masu dan yawa sai yace sai ya karbi adashi, tayaya baza’a
fara samun matsala ba kanuna mata zaka iya kuma kazo ka kasa.
Abinda yafi shine kada kadinga yimata karya, idan aro mota kayi kafada
mata wannan motar ba taka bace, idan ta nemi kudi masu yawa wanda bazaka iya
bataba karka takura kanka sai ka samo kafada mata wallahi bakada shi zaka duba
dai, kada kanuna mata kai mai kudi ne komai takeso zaka iya bata. To zaku gina
soyayyarku akan gaskiya da gaskiya koda bayan kunyi aure tace kamata wani abu
baka iya bata ba zata fahimci hakan.
2. Kazanta/Rashin kula da gida
Wanan baya shafi mata bane kawai har maza ma, idan zaaje zance saurayi da
budurwa kowa sai ya kure adaka, zai tabbatar kayansa masu kyau ne, yafesa
turare sanan ya fito. Aure kuma zama za’ayi wanda zaku kwana tare ku tashi
tare, bazai yiwu ace kowa yana cikinn kwalliya ba koda yaushe, amma yakamata
kudinga kasancewa cikin tsafta koda yaushe kada kibari mijinki yaga kazantarki,
kada kabari matarka taga kazantar ka. Ganin kazantar juna shine yakesa kuji kun
ishi juna tin kafin ayi nisa sai azo afara zaman a hakuri har kowa yafara fito
da abinda ke cikin ransa sai kuma kaga anata samun matsaloli karshe aure ya
mutu arasa meye dalili tin farko ashe kazanta ce.
3. Dangi da Yan’uwa
Yan’uwa da dangi suna daga cikin manyan abubuwa dasuke kashe aure a
arewa, wani matsalar daga yan’uwan miji wani matsalan daga yan uwan mata. Wasu
yan’uwan miji daga sunzo matar bata musu abunda sukeso ba shikenan zasu hau
zaginta da sukanta, idan akayi rashin sa’a manya ma suka shigo shikenan saikaga
ansa miji ya saki matarsa. Tsakaninsu basuda wata matsala amma sabida rigimarsu
da yan’uwan mijin aure sai yamutu. Akwai wani bawan Allah da akasa ya saki
matarsa kawai dan yan’uwan matar sun wulakanta yan uwan mijin, kawai suka sashi
dole ya saki matarsa.
Yakamata aji tsoron Allah adaina
raba aure, musamman idan ba wani dalili ne mai karfi ba. Miji ko Mata
kada ku bari ashiga tsakaninku kowani matsala zaku iya sasanta kanku basai wani
ya shigo ba.